Deceptively Simple, but Endlessly Complicated

October 24, 2023

For a (very) brief period in the early 2000s CityPlace was home to a 9-hole golf course and driving range.

“A Gentleman’s Guide to Golf” – As dictated by a Ghost (who wished to remain anonymous) upon discovering the sport at the CityPlace Golf Club in the summer of 2000.

  1. The ideal, complete game of golf consists of 9 holes, 3 par each.
  2. The sounds of the Gardiner Expressway are excellent for concentration on a swing.
  3. Cracking a Neighbour’s window during a game is an immediate penalty of 5 strokes.
  4. However, this does not apply to the driving range — a smashed window is the ideal achievement. Extra skill if you break MULTIPLE knick knacks AND scare their pets.
  5. After each round, the player who is the most over par buys the protective gear for all the neighbouring residents (including their pets) whose windows were broken.
  6. The caddie’s most important job is finding the best local balcony to haunt and watch the Professional Golfer’s Association (PGA) Tour through their windows. CBS is fine. NBC is preferred. Bonus points if they have comfortable patio furniture.
  7. The game of golf is as everlasting as this, the Cityplace Golf Club, will be — so every Ghost should invest in a good set of clubs that will last for eternity.

*Editor’s Note: The CityPlace golf course and driving range closed in the early 2000s. Our researchers do not know what became of the Ghost’s collection of golf clubs.